So, you’re engaged and probably receiving well-meaning advice from everyone you meet. You will need to stand your ground in terms of what you and your fiance wish for on your perfect day. If you don’t you may find yourself rail roaded into having the wedding your mother in law always wished she had.
When I think back to the first weeks of planning my wedding, I remember everyone telling me the wonderful things I should definitely do but I don’t remember anyone sharing the mistakes they made in their planning or what they would have done differently given a second run.
So here are just three honest pointers that I wish I had come across in my hours of wedding research!!
Be open-minded – all of us girls have our funny and crazy little ways and insecurities. These are a part of why our fiancés have fallen for us, apparently they make us adorable. One of mine is an absolutely hatred for wearing anything on my head or face!! I shuttered at the thoughts of sunglasses shopping (they just all look so wrong on me) and I don’t think I have ever wore a headpiece or hat in my life. It’s strange because while I love hair accessories etc. on others, especially for a special occasion, I just feel utterly ridiculous even trying one on. So for me, the veil was a big “no no” from the start. My bridesmaids and my mum did try to use some gentle persuasion when the subject of a veil arose but I point blank refused to consider it. Now when I look at my wedding album (which I love so much) the one thing I always think is – I should have worn a veil!
Pick your bridesmaids carefully – I chose four bridesmaids, my three sisters and one of my fiancés sisters. I was very much doing “the right thing” in terms of keeping both our families happy and involved. While none of them did anything wrong (in fact they played a blinder), if the true be known I always felt I would have had more “fun” in the run up to the wedding if I had of chosen my three best friends.
Don’t forget it’s an emotional day – This was probably the biggest thing for me. My sister passed away two years before my wedding. While I knew the whole family would find her absence on the day really tough, I underestimated the affect it would have on my Mum. I imagine seeing her other four daughters, in all the bridal photos, re-enforced my sisters absence. Looking back I should have gathered immediate family together before the meal and had a moment just to remember her. Most families have some underlying sensitivities or issues, so just be aware weddings have a way of making family emotions run high!!!
Having said all of the above, I remember myself and my new husband (of less than 48 hours) sitting in a bar Heathrow Airport. We were about to take our onward flight to The Maldives, when he turned to me and asked, “Given the chance would you change anything about how it all went?” and in that moment of utter happiness we both shook our heads and agreed, “No it was perfect”.